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"Did they start an inquiry?"

More hushed, now, but urgent. Accountability is one thing, Luke was accountable in spades at least to himself, but Han was not at all comfortable with the idea that someone who was never there, who has no idea what it was like, will be the one to judge the merits of what happened based on the opinions of whoever they convince to talk.

In contrast to all of Han's urgency, Luke only blinks and shrugs, looking confused.

"If they have, it's news to me."

With considerably less concern.

He makes a face, annoyed even as he slides past Luke and into the room, because if were official they had to notify him. Then again, if someone were really on a tear they wouldn't bother with protocol.

"Then did anyone come to you about Mindor? Guy's been getting around to every crewman still on Coruscant."

He lets the door slide shut behind him, turning to watch his friend angrily stalk into the room. Which probably gives Han a nice and clear view of his expression as that question sinks in; he goes from confusion to understanding to irritation in quick succession, ending all of that with a shake of the head. Maybe Geptun was a bad idea. Nick apparently talked up his ability too high, or Luke just severely overestimated his capacity to be discreet. Probably both.

"I know who you're talking about. Don't worry about him; he's not with the Alliance."

"Oh, no."

The realization hits him about halfway through Luke's explanation. The kid had been carrying the guilt from the moment he had to start fighting, and now he's having someone investigate himself? To find him more guilty?

"Tell me you didn't."

That would be a lie, so he shrugs.

"Nick recommended him." As if that makes it better. "When I asked, so don't go getting angry at him."

"Well, if he recommended him I guess that's fine."

Han sounds like he is decidedly not fine with this, however. Instead, after a few moments he rounds on Luke. "Why would you start an investigation? You know what happened."

"Me and who else?" Luke challenges, standing his ground. The weight of Han's disapproval isn't exactly a small thing, but neither is his own anger this time. He crosses his arms. "No one, that's who. But this time, I want to change that -- let people get the real story, not some made up fairytale they want to believe."

No heroes and no dragons, though the princess is an important part of it.

It's not that he disapproves of Luke, or of the need to know, without doubt. In another situation, he'd be more inclined to be patient and understanding.

That Luke did this without telling Han, or Leia... That he doesn't think their version of whatever truth there is about what happened is as important as his, as important as whatever this stranger is going to find, that's where the heft of anger and disappointment comes from. The implied accusation that they don't know stops Han for a moment, long enough to cross his arms and stare Luke down.

"You think most people care about the real story?"

As far as Luke's concerned, Han and Leia don't know -- because they weren't around any of the times Luke got innocent people killed, consciously chose to do things knowing there would be awful consequences. The only people who were there are now hurtling through deep space or dead.

If he were honestly looking for the truth, Han and Leia would've (or at least should've) been involved. But the need to hire an investigator came from something else, deeper and less easily articulated: what he's really looking for, deep down, is someone to punish him, and Geptun seemed like the most likely candidate to make that a reality.

"I think they're going to get it," he says stubbornly, "whether they do or not."

Han isn't unfamiliar with this. He remembers, very clearly, how Leia was (is) about Alderaan. Something in her pushing her forward into battle after battle, the way her eyes got when she'd see other survivors... Skywalkers and their need to have someone punish them is something he's dealt with before, and he knows no amount of saying it isn't Luke's fault will change it.

His expression doesn't exactly soften, but the angry looming dies down a little as he looks Luke over.

"What are you really doing this for?"

You don't paint a tin can and tell a Jawa it's a droid, and you don't present a distressed Skywalker to Han and expect him to believe the first explanation they give him.

There's a long, long moment where it seems like he might start yelling; and then, all at once, he deflates.

"Have you heard how people are talking about it? Ackbar called Mindor a victory. Everyone did."

A regrettable loss of life, clearly the fault of the villain Luke Skywalker vanquished. As cleanly as that, people have already found ways to adjust the story to something prettier, to what they want to believe. To continue their fairytale of the great hero who doesn't even exist.

"Because they don't like calling anything a loss."

It's something he had learned early on in his military career. Either it was a win or it was a loss, and as long as you didn't retreat while there were still concussion missiles to launch, they liked the sound of 'victory.'

Especially true for a new government, a new military. Any battle they walk away from and don't call a victory is going to make every idiot warlord thing they have a shot at taking everything over. Or at least a little corner of the galaxy where they can play Emperor of the Castle with whatever cronies they manage to keep around.

Han puts a hand out to put on Luke's shoulder, then seems to think better of it and shake his head as it drops to his side.

"You can't do this to yourself, kid."

He knows. If it'd happened to someone else, if that burden of guilt weren't crushing him so thoroughly, he'd even point that out himself. Perceptions have a lot of power, both for good and bad. What hurts so much is how much perceptions of him have become wound up in the New Republic propaganda and their determination to have a grand, larger than life figure. No one becomes a rebel for the glory, and that goes for him as much as anyone else; he'd always wanted to make a difference, strike back against the cruel, indifferent Empire. Destroying the Death Star all those years ago was revenge as much as any idealistic dreams. Becoming a Jedi was to topple the dreaded Vader and his Emperor, try to follow the footsteps left by family legacy. Endor had been bad enough, with all the rumors about what happened aboard the second Death Star (which Blackhole had used to his advantage), but to see the same happening after Mindor is unbearable.

Luke sighs, shaking his head, moving to collapse into one of the chairs and burying his face in his hands.

"I can't do this at all. Any of this. If I have to hear one more person calling me a hero --"

Edited 2015-09-10 02:46 (UTC)

"Then go somewhere they won't."

At some point, Han will have to admit that just running from problems wasn't the best solution. But right now, it's the only one he can think of. Maybe not run to somewhere that no one will call him a hero, but somewhere that will call him a hero for a better reason than they were doing here. A reason that isn't Mindor, has nothing to do with darkness or Darkness.

Slowly, as if he's approaching a wounded animal, Han steps over and puts a hand on Luke's shoulder. "Or just stop listening."

Running isn't exactly in Luke's nature, even when it's only in his head. If it were, he might've actually been firm in his decision to resign instead of letting himself get talked into a promotion. The simple insinuation that he would be doing the New Republic a disservice by leaving wouldn't have bothered him so much.

He only deflates further when he feels Han's hand on his shoulder, like it weighs a lot more than it really does, and shudders out a sigh.

Both options seem impossible: there's nowhere to go, and to stop listening would involve blocking out pretty much everyone except Han, Leia, Chewie, and the droids.

Running might not be in Luke's nature, but Han is more than skilled enough in it for the both of them. The kid needs rest, real rest, something far away from Coruscant and the New Republic and --

"C'mon," and he squeezes Luke's shoulder. "We're going."

No arguments, no packing. It's not like they haven't shared clothes before, or left somewhere in a hurry. He can comm Leia on the way to the Falcon so she doesn't worry.

Force abilities or no, Han's abrupt plan doesn't occur to him as a possibility. His sincerity is palpable, obvious, but Luke's no mind reader. At best, he assumes his friend is going to track down Geptun and make Luke call him off, or maybe just take him to Leia, or even to some kind of audience with Ackbar or someone else in the New Republic. For all he knows, they might've asked Han to come get him anyway; his resignation is, right now, sentiment only -- he's officially one of their generals.

"Now?"

Despite the complaint, he stirs, lifting his face from his hands and moving as though to stand.

"Yeah, now."

He's already walking toward the door, grabbing a a coat of Luke's on the way (is Bakura cold? he can't remember) and waiting with a small amount of patience at the door. Let Geptun keep nosing around, now that Han knows it isn't official he doesn't seem to care as much. The more worrying issue is the kid in front of him.

His eyebrows lift when Han takes of his coats, but Luke doesn't protest. Han's clearly serious about wherever it is he wants them to go, and maybe there isn't any harm in a short visit somewhere. Or maybe he's just too exhausted to argue.

"We're not going back to Hoth, are we?" he asks, following along to the door.

What he thinks of that is writ plainly on Han's face. Mostly, how dare Luke suggest he'd drag them both there.

"Not unless you think it'll help."

And they're out and away, headed toward the docks. "I've gotta take care of something. If you're not at the Falcon when I get there, I'm sending Chewie after you."

Luke reflects that there's probably no one there anymore, which would be superior to Coruscant or anywhere else. In terms of his likelihood of running into anyone who might get going about holothrillers or his reputation, anyway. He lets Han lead him partway to the docks, but stops at that brisk dismissal.

"And what do you think is going to help?"

Where could they possibly be going in such a hurry?

He walks backward a few paces to look at Luke.

"C'mon, kid, don't you trust me?"

The point is less where right now. Bakura might work, but maybe Kashyyyk to see Chewbacca's family. Anywhere away from the madness on Coruscant or the obligations to the New Republic.

"Just get to the Falcon. I won't be long."

He's sorely tempted to make a sharp retort, but the fact is that there's no one in the galaxy he trusts more than Han, Leia, or Chewie. If Han really thinks there's somewhere he can take Luke that'll make things better, then...well, Luke might need to see it to believe it, but he'll follow Han until he does.

"Fine."

And in a rare display of perfect obedience, actually heads in the direction of the Falcon.

At least he still trusts someone. Han goes his own way, then heads back for the Falcon. Not fast enough to set a record, but not taking his time either. By the time he gets back, he's got clearance codes, semi-viable excuses for their absence, and a promise to Chewie that they'll stop at Kashyyyk before going anywhere else.

"Ready to go, kid?"

He better be, because Han is headed straight for the pilot's chair. The sooner they're off the ground the harder it'll be for Luke to change his mind.

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well this is awkward

hey, han isn't the one who hired someone to investigate himself

IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME.

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